Friday, April 13, 2007

A lesson in healthcare professionalism

Many of my friends who may be reading my blog are healthcare professionals or students. Here is a lesson in professional healthcare you may be interested in.

What the best nurse does:

1. Provide Sam Cambell nature books for the patient when she is in bed for 3 days with the flu. As soon as the patient's flu begins to show signs of bronchitis, make a house call immediately, and watch the silliest Fred Astaire song-and-dance movie you can find with the patient (preferably from 1950 or before). Wash all her dishes when she isn't looking.

2. If the patient develops a fever over 101 degrees, a resting pulse rate of 140 or higher, can only breathe with rapid, shallow, wheezing breaths and develops nausea and dizzyness from sitting up, call a doctor (preferably a radiologist) to listen to the patient's breathing with his stethoscope for diagnosis. Then pack the patient's belongings personally and immediately admit the patient to a hospital for overnight observation.

3. The nurse should choose the hospital carefully. Although there are a great many choices of excellent, world-class healthcare facilities in my area, the best of them all, a little-known secret--where I was admitted--is a small facility, in fact, a one-bed hospital with one doctor (the same radiologist) and nurse (the same nurse) on staff 24/7. This luxurious facility boasts a lovely hospital room (convenienly also serving as a bike storage room) queen-sized pillow-topped mattress bed with four huge pillows, silky sheets, a down comforter, windows opening to a garden, excellent food, and the best patient care around.

4. The next morning before the patient is discharged, sit in bed with her and read books and watch Wallace and Grommit cartoons on the laptop.

Lest anyone think this is an impossibility for a healthcare professional, I will testify that I personally received exactly this treatment from one such healthcare team this week! Thank you so much, Andrew and Monica!

1 comment:

Joelle said...

Awww, how nice of the Nelsons. :-)
And about the quiz, LET'S DO IT! sometime... let me know when! :-)